Love Sucks
by EmmaAugustLover
Summary: Puss and Kitty are now married have a daughter and a son and live in Far Far Away, what happens when Humpty still wants revenge and appears at their door. And Puss is strict about his daughter dating. Will Humpty fall in love or will he get his revenge ?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

My name is Loni Boots, i have my dads ginger fur and my moms blue eyes, i have visited Princess Fiona and Shrek, they treat me like im family. Were currently staying in Far Far Away. Im a cat at night but a human at day.

I have a curse that was set right after i was born and i have to find my true love in order to be a cat forever, but i really hate being a cat sometimes, i feel like being a human is more freedom.

Im adventurous, good dancer, sly, but i dont like being a flirt, unlike my parents who wont stop kissing each other. Im a bit stubborn and fiesty

Everybody has an owl, except for me because of my dad, hes afraid ill run off with some guy and get pregnant or something.

I walk up to my room in the house i live in and look out the window and see him...

Troy, Troy Jones. The guy i have a really big crush on, unfortunetly hes human and i turn into a cat at night.

I stare at him on his "skateboard" whatever that is. I quickly get dressed and put on my make up. I rush downstairs to meet my crush and i hear the doorbell ring.

I open the door and I dont see anyone. I look down and see a egg.

" Uh Hello do you know where Puss is ?"

I turn around " DAD ! SOMEONES HERE TO SEE YOU !" I yell to my dad whos kinda occupied at the moment.

All of the sudden i see my dad draw out his sword and hit the egg in the head. " Humpty ?" he gave his best freind a hug and my mom started walking over.

" Humpty, i thought you were dead." My mom walked over and stood next to my father.

" Whos at the door ?" I heard from behind me. I heard my brother meow and stand right behind me.

My dad invites Humpty inside and they talk about their life and i stopped listening when they started talking.

I try to sneak outside and see Troy but my fathers quick eyes catch me.

" Hey, Loni ! You can not go outside !" And of course i was right at the door when he said that. I turned around and yelled at my dad.

" OK WHY CANT I SEE TROY ! I LIKE HIM !" My dad stood up and walked in front of me, gaurding the door. " Because i dont want you to end up heartbroken."

I roll my eyes " Im going back in my room." I slugg back to my room and try to think of something, something genius...

Puss POV

I watched as my daughter walks back to her room. Kitty gives me a angry stare. " What ?" I shrugg and Kiitty gives me the hand " I give permission for our daughter to date boys, even human boys."

I cringe when she says human boys, rumor has it that human boys treat girls horrible.

I watch my wife walk upstairs to our daughters room to talk to her, and i walk back to the living room with Humpty sitting there awkwardly.

" Sorry about that," I rub my hands together.

" Its Ok," Humpty smiles at me and Kitty walks over here again.

" Loni wants to watch the Hunger Games...again."

I sigh in dissapointment " Again..."

Kitty crosses her arms " Yes again."

Loni comes sprinting down stairs with the movie and puts it in the Tv.

" AHHH HUNGER GAMES TEAM PEETA !" She screams and sits down on the coutch.

She starts the movie and it shows Prim screaming and Katniss comforting her.

i fall asleep and a few minutes i wake up by my daughters screams. " Ahhh" I look over to Loni and shes looking dreamy at Peeta Mellark.

I roll my eyes and i look at the time and its 7:20.

" Loni ! You need to go to your room NOW !" Loni looks at me confused and than at the time.

She gasped and ran upstairs.

" So you have a human daughter, how did that happen ?" Humpty asked me.

" She was born with a curse, at day she is human and at night shes a cat." My ears went down and i saw a green glow come from her room.

Humpty looks at the glow in amazement. " She says she likes being a human better than her real species."

" She has your ginger fur." Humpty says quietly.

I smile " Yeah, and Kittys eyes."

It took me a little while to realize that Humpty and I were the only ones in the living room. " Uh theres a guest room upstairs." I point next to Lonis room.

" Oh ok." Humpty started walking upstairs and i walked to the room Kitty and I shared together.

Loni POV

I couldnt sleep, i dont know why but i just couldnt. I got up and heard walking coming upstairs. I quickly hide in my room untill the walking dissapeard and i opened the window, the cold air was blowing in my face and the FAR FAR AWAY sign was so bright it was beautiful.

I climbed out of my room and onto the roof. The stars were so pretty, _this would be a wonderful date. _

I almost closed my eyes and i heard a cough, i quickly jumped and put up a fight stance than stopped when i realized who it was.

" Humpty what are you doing out here ?" I asked him, he smiled at me " I was about to ask you the same thing." He lied down next to me and watched the stars with me.

" So what are you doing out here ?" I asked again. He looked at me with his light brown eyes " I felt the cold air in my room and i got curious, what about you ?"

" I just wanted to watch the stars." I bit my lip and Humpty narrowed his eyes at me.

" You dont need to lie to me, now whats the real reason." His arm brushed my arm and i felt blush creeping up on my face, thank goodness my ginger fur hid that.

I sigh and turn over to face him " I go out every night to watch Troy, my boyfriend not my crush sleep, because it reminds me how lucky i am, please dont tell my dad that i have a boyfriend he will kill me, even though im old enough to have a boyfriend."

Humpty smiled " Dont worry i wont, but there is a question i want to ask you." I raise a eyebrow " Ok what."

"I want a partnership." He holds out his hand and i shake it, trusting him with my life.

" Ok, i need to go but you can come if you want." Humpty smiles " Ill go." I grab his hand and bring him to my boyfriends house and we look at the window. I pull out a picture of us from my pocket.

" Whats that ?" I give Humpty the picture and he raises his eyebrow. Than he looks confused " Wait you said you have to remind yourself your lucky to have him but why ?"

" Because i always have this strange feeling that hes not being faithful." I sadly look in his room and he has a shrine of us on his wall.

" Well its obvious that he has feelings for you, i mean look." He points at the shrine in the room and i smile.

" I think its time to go back." I go back to my room with Humpty and i climb into my bed.

Humptys POV

I watch Loni climb into her bed and as soon as she closes her eyes i whisper in her ear " Goodnight." And walk off to my room.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I walked downstairs with a yellow dress and glass slippers cinderella let me borrow. I walked and almost tripped, _ok maybe i havent gotten use to heels..._ I walked into the kitchen and my dad almost choked on his milk.

" What-are-you-wearing." My dad coughed out every word.

" A dress and Cinderellas glass slippers." I twirl around and they just stare at me.

" You look beautiful." My mom smiles at me " So when is Troy coming over ?"

My dad spits out his milk " Wha-What ?" I give my mom a you-shouldnt-have-done-that- look.

I hear a knock on the door and gasp. " Ill get it !" I tried to run in the glass slippers, but i take them off and my feet slide on the wood floor. I turn the knob and see Troy standing there with his blonde Hustin Jieber hair and his blue eyes sparkled on the sun.

" Hey are we going ?" I smiled and looked behind me, " Yeah." When i closed the door, i grabbed his hand tightly and we walked to the park.

Puss POV

I heard the door close, Dumpty and I ran to the nearest window and look out to see if the little human touched my daughter, I snarl and my eyes narrow when i see Loni and Troy holding hands. I walk towards the door and i saw Kitty gaurding the door.

" Puss, you cannot keep out daughter from dating shes nineteen and she wants to be independent." She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at me.

I turned my head and sighed " Ok i guess i can give Troy a chance." Kitty gave me a small kiss and left to talk to our son.

My face grew dark and i look mishcivously at my friend " We are going to pick Loni up and jump Troy !"

Humpty looked confused " Um why would we jump Troy ?"

I shrugged " It would be fun."

Humpty rolled his eyes " Lets just go."

Loni POV

Troy and I sat on the soft grass laying next to each other and feeding each other mysterious foods.

He put a sweet and sour taste in my mouth.

" Is it a grape ?" I opened my eyes and looked at the grapes that were lying in front of me. I smirked and leaned into him, thank goodness i put on my cherry lipstick.

His soft lips hit mine and felt wonderful for my first kiss. His pulled me closer to him and i pulled away from the kiss and laughed but kissed him again, this time it was longer and more meaningful.

I ran my hands his hair, his hair is soft...

Puss POV

Humpty and i ride the carriage to the nearest park. I look around frantically for my daughter and her boyfriend, and i see a picknic set up with a couple making out...how awkward.

I look at them again and see Troy running his hands up and down Loni's waist and her hand in his hair. I narrow my eyes

Humptys POV

I watch as Puss is looking for his daughter and hes just staring at someone. I look at the direction hes looking at and see Troy running his hands up and down Loni's waist and her hand in his hair.

My stomach drops and i cant stop staring at them. _I have to stop this. _I shout over to them and they stop in the middle of kissing and look over to Puss and my direction. I see a slight blush on Loni's cheeks and she said goodbye to Troy and ran to the carriage.

" You messed up my date with TROY !" I watch as the nineteen year old is staring at her father and he sighs " Lon, he only wants one thing from you and thats your body." I roll my eyes and look out the window of the carriage.

We park home and i storm inside the house and slam my door. _Why cant he understand. _I grab my head and rest it on my bed slightly screaming and really having a urge to throw a tantrum like a toddler.

I clench my fists and breath slowly in and out, I turn the knob and see Humpty standing right outside my door awkwardly.

" Uh hi, lunch is ready." I saw sweat pour down his face...how strange. I push it away and ran down the stairs like a love struck thirteen year old.

Humpty falls and im at the middle step, he crashes into me and were at the bottom of the stairs with me on top of him.

" Oh- my gosh, i am so sorry." I quickly get off him and quickly walk to the kitchen and leave Humpty who is still on the floor, probilty shocked what just happened.

I sit down in the chair and Humpty sits across from me, when hes eating i take a look at him and have a sudden warm feeling in my stomach.

His eyes looked from his food to me and i quickly started eating. " Strange." He muttered under his breath, my dad is sitting next to me and my mom sitting on the other side.

I get the warm feeling again " Um i dont feel well." I excuse myself from the table and go to my room, i slip into my night clothes and pull the covers over my head.

Humptys POV

I watched as Loni went to her room, i caught her staring at me earlier, was it something i said ? I excuse myself to and go to her room, i see her cuddled up with the sheets. A small smile creeps up on my face and i look at her up and down. _Shes a very beautiful young woman. _" Goodnight _darling." _A soft purr came out of her mouth and tossed and turned in her sleep. I walked back to my room for tomarrow, its going to be a good day.

As soon as i get into my bed i see a bird fly into the room and place a piece of paper on the nightstand. A evil smile plays on my lips and i walk over to pick it up. It read:

_Humpty, the plan is ready, now all we need is the girl to go to the club._

" All we have to do is wait for tomarrow." I crawled back in bed and a smile couldnt leave my face.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I woke up and felt the hot summer heat on me. Something didnt feel right, like something bad was going to happen. I pushed the feeling away and got out of bed.

I saw the guest room door open and i knew Humpty was awake. I looked in the living room and saw him watching Tv. He looked tired for some reason. " Hey, did you stay up all night ?" He looked at me and slightly smiled. " Uh yeah just thinking about something." I laughed and sat next to him. " Well whatever your worried about hopefully goes away."

He coughed " Yeah just uh lady troubles." He moved his hand so it could rest on my back. " Oh really ?!" I ask trying to avoid his hand on my back, probitly a accident.

" Yeah, she will never love me." Humpty sighed and his eyes hovered back to the Tv screen as i couldnt help but feel for him.

" Im sure she does love you." I give him a nice pat on the back and a encouraging smile. He shakes his head " She doesnt love me, she loves someone else." My mouth forms into a "o" and i scooted away from him. It soon became awkward with his hands in his lap and me looking away.

" Hey i was going to The Club tonight and i was wondering if you wanted to come with me." Humpty and i looked at each other and i smiled " Yeah sure, it will be fun."

He smiled at me and i could have sworn i saw him blush through his hard shell. I looked at the Tv screen and it showed a interview with Fiona and Shrek with thier kids who are much older now.

" Do you know them ?" Humpty asked me with interest.

I nodd " Yes they're like family to us." I heard Shrek say that he wouldnt be here without his wife. I ahhhed and i heard Humpty smirk at that.

I looked at the time and it was much later than i thought it would be. 2 o' clock.

I take a shower and it takes two hours for my hair to dry. I blow dry my hair and straighten it. I put on a very cute dress and the best make up i have.

I walk downstairs in a flirtatious way, and walk in the living room.

" So, how do i look ?" Humptys eyes hover from curve to curve on my body and leaves me blushing.

" Absolutly beautiful." he whispered loud enough for me to hear. I start to blush even more and it starts to get noticable.

" Where are your parents ?" He asked and i shrugged like i didnt care, because i dont.

" I dont know and i dont care." I sat down on the couch and they were still interviewing Shreks family.

" Hey Loni, do you want to stay a human for the rest of the night ?" My eyes move from the Tv to Humptys.

" Is that possible ?" I whisper so that only the two of us could hear each other. He smiled and gave me a small bean, while he kept the other one.

I took it in my mouth and chewed it up. A bright green glow took in my whole body and i still looked the same. I went to look at Humpty and he looked well human ! He had brown hair that was short but not two short, kinda like Zac Efrons hair and he had brown eyes, and he was muscular.

It took me a whole before i knew i was blushing at his handsome appearance. " So how do i look ?" He asked quit flirtatiously.

I laughed " You look good." We walked out to the carriage and he went in the driver seat.

He drove to The Club and we walked out together with photographers flashing thier cameras at us. We walked inside and i saw alot of people dancing and holding each other close.

" May i have this dance." Humpty gave a flirty wink and i giggled at his friendly flirts. I grabbed his hand and he twirled me around. I felt like i was flying.

When he set me down we got a round of applause for our dancing. I looked around at the people and saw...something that made me want to vomit.

I saw Troy kissing a blonde girl. All of the applause faded within the back of my mind and i heard a faint " Are you ok ?" from Humpty.

Anger filled my veins and i walked over to them and slapped Troy in the face, with tears rolling down mine. " How dare you ! I thought you loved me ! Were OVER !" He stopped kissing the blonde and ran after me, so did Humpty.

" Loni ! Wait !" I stopped and let the cheater come foreward. " No ! This ends tonight ! I-We arent ment to be, obviously ! Im ending our relationship !" Humpty and I hopped in the car and drove off to my house.

I cried all the way home. When i opened the door to my house, i ran to my room with my make up that i worked on for hours was ruined. I flopped on my bed and buried my face into the pillow.

" You were brave out there." I lifted my head to look at Humpty. " *Sniff* How was i brave ?" He slightly smiled and sat on the bed. I sat up next to him, " You ended the relationship." A small smile creeped on my face. " Yeah i guess i was brave." Humpty got up and started for the door.

" Wait !" He stopped when my sudden outburst stopped him. " Can you stay please." My soft blue eyes met his handsome brown ones. His small smile was getting bigger by the second. " Sure." He sat down next to me and we started to talk and talk and talk.

" Yeah your father and i went way back." Humpty said as if remembering a memory.

" Yeah he talked about you alot." I laughed and his brown eyes were burning into mine. He leaned into my face and i leaned into his. I felt his soft lips against mine and i felt a electric shock go through my body, i never felt this way before.

One of his hands was on my back and the other was running through my ginger hair. " You have soft hair." I heard him whisper against my lips. I smiled and he continued kissing me. _For once in my life i feel safe and right. _I knew nothing was going to stop this night from being the most passionate.

" I just want to let you know that i love you Humpty." I looked at him straight in the eyes and he said something that was going to change me forever. " I love you too Loni Alexandria Boots." I looked at the clock and it was two hours from twelve. I turn back at Humpty and we both know whats going to happen next. I jump into his lap and dont stop kissing him, he grabs my dress and gives it a tug.

The next day...

Puss walked upstairs to check on his daughter from being away for a night. " Hey Loni, were ho-" He stopped in the middle of the sentence when he saw Humpty asleep with his daughter,in-her-bed.

" HUMPTY ALEXANDER DUMPTY !" He screamed at the top of his lungs and the two lovers scrambled out of the bed, Loni fell off the bed trying not be seen without anything on and Humpty well he was just embarressed that he got caught with his best friends daughter.

Puss closed the door and let them get changed with anger boiling in his body.

Loni POV

I put on my dress while Humpty put his stuff on. I was about to walk out the door when Humpty started asking me all these questions. " Was this your first time ?" I sighed and turned around " Yes." I walked out the door and my dad was standing there with his arms crossed, very pissed.

" How dare you sleep with my daughter Humpty and you Loni, i thought you were dating that Troy boy." Puss growled us and i told him what happened last night and he said my mother would be very dissapointed in me if she were here right now.

" And i will tell your mother when she gets back from picking your brother up from his friends house." Dad walked away but i knew he was keeping a eye on us. A shiver shot down my spine. _Creepy. _

Humptys hand found mine and it intertwined. _I have never been happier in my life. _Even though Humpty is back in his egg form and im a human, we can still make this work.

Humptys POV

In the night when she is a cat we will go as partners and lovers...in crime. Poor girl, doesnt know, Naive Loni.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_My lips meet his with intense passion, heat sprung up on my cheeks in the cold night of Far Far Away, his hands snuck down my belt..._

I woke up in a start, sweating like crazy, _stupid teenage hormones. _Suddenly i felt my mouth was extremely moist, than i felt vomit coming up my throat, I quickly covered my mouth and ran inside the bathroom with my head inside the toilet getting all of my dinner from last night out of my now empty stomach.

I hear a soft knock from the doorway. " Hey, are you ok ?" _Its Humpty. _I guess my puke was loud...

" Uh, yeah are you ready ?" I watch as Humpty looks in the direction of the bathroom than at me with his eyebrows furrowed in suspition.

" Yeah, are _sure _your ok ?" _Seriously this again ?_

I sigh in annoyonce. " Yes, im fine, the dinner didnt adjust with my stomach." I felt my stomach drop as i lied to my love, _But wait...if it wasent dinner than what was the cause of my random puking ?_

Humpty placed his hands on his hips than eventaully gave up. " Ok, just follow me, than i'll tell you what to do from there." I nodded at my lover and grabbed the sword i once trained with my father.

We climbed out of the window and saw the bright lights of the Far Far Away sign. Humpty nudged me in the shoulder and pointed towards the bank, that stored all of the gold from the villagers and possibly King Artie

" Uh- Humpty, where are we going ?" I said with my hopes high, hoping we wouldnt be stealing from the bank.

" You'll see." He grabbed my hand, and we jumped down from the roof of the house and into the night, the too quite night.

But of course i let my stupidity get in the way and turns out we were stealing from the bank. " HUMPTY ! We cant do this ! This is the kings gold ! We will be exicuted for this !" I whisper the loudest i can without being caught.

Humpty sighed and looked back at me in irritation, he walked down from the crate he stood on and grabbed my hands, dreamily staring at me " Just think about it, Loni, we can have it all together, we can have a house together, we can get married, anything you want, all we need is that gold and you can have it all."

I looked back at the gold to Humpty who was eager to know my awnser. I sighed in defeat, " Fine, but lets not mention this to _anyone_, i'd rather not get killed by my own father." I say with a hint of sarcasm at the end.

I help Humpty up and he gets the gold while i hear the faint sounds of horses coming our way. I start to feel the panic rising up in my stomach.

Humpty finally comes down and We hurry up, we run past houses untill we finally reach mine.

We go inside the window in my room and I wipe the sweat off my forehead.

" That was too close." Humpty wispered and I just stood there as if in a trance. _I cant believe i just stole from my childhood friend._

I sat down on my bed and just stared at the wall, deep in thought.

Suddenly, i felt that sick feeling again, i ran to the bathroom and pushed my love out of the way.

I threw my head in the toilet and vomited like i had an hour before.

I heard the door open on the other side of the room, and it and it had turned out to be Humpty.

I lifted my head up as i was done and looked at him, he looked concerned.

" Maybe you need to see a doctor." Humpty kissed me on the forehead and i slightly smiled at him.

" Yeah, i'll go first thing in the morning." I walked past him into my room, i climbed into the most comfortable night clothes i could find and went to sleep.

The Next Morning...

I woke up but didnt feel that sick feeling just yet, than I remembered i had to go to the doctors.

I dragged myself out of bed and drove over to the doctors office.

" So, have you had sex lately." The docter crosses her arms and I start to blush furiously.

" Yes."

The doctor smiles and says " Congradulations Ms. Boots, your going to have a baby."

_I knew it ! But wait...what will your parents think ?! WHAT WILL HUMPTY THINK ?!_

Dr. Carmen helps me up and my mind is arguing with each other.

I hear the door swing open and I look fearfully but instead of Humpty i see my childhood friend "Artie" or Aurther.

bows down at him and Artie tells her he should'nt do that.

" Hey Artie, what are you doing here ?" I asked my blonde-headed friend.

" Oh, Humpty told me that you wernt feeling well, so i drove over here to see if you were ok." He put all of the weight on one leg and i could tell he was hiding something from me.

" Hey ! Loni, are you ok, what did the doctor say ?" My lover walked inside, very curious with the situation.

It started getting really hot in the room, Loni's forehead was breaking out in sweat and everybody's eyes were on her.

" I-I-." My voice trembles in the quiet room, i look at Artie whos eyebrow is raised.

" Artie, can i talk to you for a sec." I grab his wrist and pull him out to the hallway.

" Hey ! Hey, whats wrong, why could'nt you tell Humpty ?"

I rubbed my arms and looked at my overly concerned friend. " Because i dont know how he will take it."

Artie looked really confused now. " Wait...take what ?"

I looked at my friend with slight blush on my face. " Im pregnant, with his baby."

Artie's eyes went from confused to suprized. " Woah, congradulations." He gave me a hug and i hugged him back.

Humptys POV

I watched as Loni pulled Aurther or as everybody calls him "Artie" into the hallway and they started talking awkwardly. The boy had clear feelings for her and maybe i felt a tiny bit of jealoucy.

But then i pushed them away untill i saw them hug, ok thats it im going over there.

I walked into the hallway and they broke up the hug.

Artie walked over to me and whispered to where only i could hear. " Loni needs to tell you something." _Cleary_

Aurther walked by us and left us the only two in the hallway.

I looked into her bright blue eyes and she looked terrified. " So, whats up with you and " The King". I mocked Artie label.

Loni's eyes got bright and she waved her hands in front of her angrily. " Are you saying that Artie and I have romantic feelings for each other ?! Than your wrong, were only friends !"

I narrow my eyes at her than get back to normal.

" Than what do you need to tell me." I whisper venomusly.

Her innocent blue eyes look into mine fearfully. " Im pregnant."


End file.
